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In the s, monster movies were the staples of Universal Pictures' line-up, a cash cow as the industry metamorphosed from silent films to talkies. Although the monsters came in all sizes and flavors, none could match the appeal of the "Big Three": Dracula, Frankenstein a misnomer — properly, it should be "Frankenstein's creation"and The Wolf Man. By the early '40s, however, the monsters were getting long in the tooth and losing their appeal.

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He could also be appraising the entirety of this enormous event movie. Breathless cutting, nonstop special effects and a pummeling soundtrack camouflage very silly plotting and mediocre-to-sappy dialogue, yet the thrash-and-burn technique flies. This beast is as subtle as a Red Bull enema, but it succeeds magnificently as compulsively watchable spectacle.

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Rule 1 of action movies: Hugh Jackman makes anything awesome. At least, that's the theory behind Van Helsingwhich stars Jackman as fabled vampire hunter Van Helsing. In this incarnation, he works as an agent of the Knights of the Holy Order in the Vatican to hunt down monsters and other abominations.

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From the bench across the street, I can see this much. In the hour before we meet, twenty-three women and nary a man cross the threshold. Then up the sidewalk here she comes, the acrobatic, rubber-suited ass-kicking vampire of the Underworld movies, the corseted vampire hunter of the underappreciated action lark Van Helsing, the willowy, repressed Ph. She's got her shoulder into the shank of the wind, elbows clamped around a head-to-calf sweater, a big black purse netted to her side, and face covered by the thick black gusts of her own hair.

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Truthfully, I had a hard time watching this movie, though I did laugh out loud twice and I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to. There was not a single scene in which two characters looked at each other, exchanged a few words without then immediately falling to what would be their deaths, or being morphed into their CG 'synthespians' as they fly ludicrously through the air. Where is it written that werewolves can defy gravity?

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It's always a bit of a shock when Kate Beckinsale swears; jarring, too, when the actress who played a lot of demure gals named Ethel and Flora describes herself as an aspiring surfer chick down at Venice Beach. It's a shock because Beckinsale has perfect elocution - good English schools, Oxford and the odd Merchant Ivory period piece leave a mark. Right now - in a sleeveless top that shows off the toned and tawny arms that all but scream "California beach girl" - she's describing the difficulties of her wardrobe during the making of her new vampire and werewolf blockbuster Van Helsingopposite Hugh Jackman.

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By Lou Lumenick. Running time: minutes. Rated PG action violence, frightening images, sensuality.

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In this incarnation, he works as an agent of the Knights of the Holy Order in the Vatican to hunt down monsters and other abominations. Aiding him is Friar Carl, a slightly irreverent tinkerer and inventor that supplies him with the speciality equipment and comic relief he needs to take down the creatures of the night. It's just that kind of movie.

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Van Helsing star Kate Beckinsale laying in a guy's lap on a couch as he pulls up her shirt, revealing her left breast, which he squeezes and sucks on. Hi-res DVD capture from Uncovered. Kate Beckinsale of Pearl Harbor fame walking towards the camera in white panties as she removes her bra, giving us a good look at her topless while she looks at some art.


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