You just changed a couple little things. It's perfect by my standerds. Have him screw Shizune and Hinata. Also Have you read Bathhouse stories? Btw, your lemon was very well written and deserves a clap. They - the doujin owner s - could sue you regardless of you saying that you were inspired by it.
Brooklyn. Age: 31.
Still, you did a good job on putting this out, but you should put more detail in the writing and plot, and make it more believable, and improve your grammar.
Aleah. Age: 28.
Chichikage Big Breast Ninja, Page 2
Dude, there is nothing wrong with this story at all! Hey saw your profile about you being back, sounds awesome, can't wait for the next chapter, but if I have to sure :. I also like to remind you that you miss Shizune and Ayame from the story.