I miss you both terribly, and my heart swells and aches when I think of you — and I do think of you, daily. I wish there was a way to make everything right and that we could get back to how we used to be. I believe I was closer to you than your mum.
I lived in an unhealthy family for more than 40 years, but I didn't make the choice to "break up" with my parents overnight. For most people, it's unimaginable for a grown man or woman to choose to stop all contact with their parents. The people who provided food, clothes, and shelter, attended dance recitals, volunteered at school, or cheered from the bleachers during every Friday night's football game don't deserve to be abandoned in their old age just because they made some parenting mistakes, right?
Verified by Psychology Today. Constructive Wallowing. You did everything you could to help them get along in life.
In my studies of the lives of older Americans, I learned that almost nothing is as painful to them as estrangement from an adult child. When I wrote a blog post on this topicit led to an extraordinary outpouring of interest that both surprised and moved me. When we reach the later years, our dream is to be surrounded by loving children and grandchildren. For some older people, however, a negative relationship with one of their offspring - or even worse, complete separation from him or her - is profoundly difficult.
Mothering is like that. Not too long ago, one of my children was estranged from me. It was not how I envisioned a relationship with an adult child.
M ia was always my favorite. I love her brother and sister more than my own life, but I always loved her just a smidgen more. Cut her a bit more slack.
Show less Being estranged from your adult son or daughter can be extremely painful. Repairing a relationship is possible, but it takes time and will require patience.
Editor's Note: Every Monday, Lori Gottlieb answers questions from readers about their problems, big and small. Have a question? Email her at dear. I remarried about 28 years ago and have two children, both daughters, with my current wife.
Being estranged from a relative comes with myths — and stigma. Cookbook author Nandita Godbole has experienced this first-hand. Her affluent Indian family, who generally had hired cooks in their homes, disapproved of her choice of profession.
Hard statistics are hard to come by, but many of those working with families say that they've seen an uptick: More young adults than ever are cutting ties with their parents. For grandparents, that often means a loss of contact with their grandchildren as well. The good news is that many adult children say that they would like to have their parents back in their lives.